This is the article & tutorial for a Podcast recorded in early Dec 2016 on a TSL Online Call For More information about TSL Online Click Here
A Free Tool that will Help Our Massively is the Instant Connection Course (Get Instant Connection ). It is free and show you how to start a conversation in any situation, be totally normal and connect. It is 4 videos, about 3 hours long and all the slides are downloadable.
Preface –
Whenever writing stuff on Social Dynamics I always want to state this. There is so much bad advice out there sending the wrong message I want you to know that if you don’t have anything to offer women, you’re only good at being a liar. I don’t support that. I love social dynamics and they work. Build up your own life. Be the guy that has something to offer and use social dynamics to share them with the world.
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The Question – ‘What are the differences that an attractive woman might respond to than one that isn’t as attractive?”
This opened up a huge dialog on the TSL Call. There’s a lot to this question, however what we are getting into here are some important things that you should apply to your dating life today.
What we do here is set up a conversational structure based on things unique to being attractive.
Let’s go over this really quickly so you can do it!
FIRST – You should definitely listen tot he Podcast because if will give you the delivery, and clear up some things that you might miss from just reading this.
Here’s what we are going to cover –
- Notice What’s Unique to an Attractive Woman
- Structure the Conversation
- Make the Connection
NOTICE WHAT IS UNIQUE
One thing that is certain about attractive women is they only attract a certain type of guy that they say yes to. They attract a lot of attention from all men, but they only date a certain type of man. Unfortunately you can’t exactly say what type of man they date (that changes, but that also works in your favor – keep reading). They also get hit on a lot by men they don’t like, and you don’t want to be that guy.
What we want to focus on is the guy they SAY YES to. The guy they have dated in the past or currently.
When you think about it, this girl knows she gets more attention than most women and she can choose the men that come to her. She has more options.
However, here’s the problem, for some reason or another those guys didn’t workout. Those guys were not people that they ended up marrying or in a relationship that is currently going well. Of course there are some exceptions but that is rare. If you’re a probability man, you can bet that she has said yes to a lot of men that haven’t been great.
Now let’s throw this into the mix.
If she is under 27 then she probably doesn’t have the best dating experience. This means she has probably made the typical mistakes of dating a guy that has turned up to –
Look good at first, but turn out to be a total fraud
Cheated
Sexually insecure
Controlling
Super jealous
Show her the bad side of men
Show her that men can’t be trusted
Let’s put these together –
If a girl is attractive she get’s more attention than most women
She has chosen every single one of those men, because she had a lot of options
Because she is younger she has had bad relationships
If you look at all those things there is only 1 that makes her think she is unique. She has had more options because she gets more attention and knows it. The other 2 every single other girl that has been actively dating has experienced. The attractive girl really is no different, she just thinks she is.
That is our angle of how we are going to talk to her.
We are going to put in a conversation that works –
You’re really attractive and have options
But you’ve some how always picked the wrong man
They acted in these ways – Looked good at first, but didn’t treat you right, probably cheated, because they were so insecure, and they didn’t get insecure until they really got intimate (or sexual).
Why does all your good looks attract the wrong man
THEN MOVE TO CONNECT
As you can see, this might seem pretty harsh, but here’s a few things to keep in mind –
We are not doing this to belittle her, this isn’t some PUA power play, we are trying to connect with her. This is coming. If you’re doing it for power, you will miss the whole point and not get good results.
This is also something she wonders about. She talks about it with her friends at every breakup and can’t find the answer. This is where you are going to help find that answer if you can. This is what also would give her the connection.
IF ALL THOSE THINGS WERE TRUE
Let’s take a look at this. If she
Attracted the wrong guy
The guys were all assholes
She has all the options
She might be a little insecure about this. This is not what you want to go for. What you want is to look and see where she might be insecure and what she ACTUALLY WANTS. The insecurity will show you what she really wants. We can assume –
She wants a man that she chooses & wants her deepest side
She has things deeper within her that when she showed them to her other men they didn’t notice
She wants her outward appearance and attention to match the attention she gets internally. Who she is, is more or equally attractive as her outward appearance.
This is how we will connect. Let’s get this straight, if you’re a man who has nothing to offer, why are you expecting that you will be able to date any woman? Make sure and work on that first. If you can connect with this and are full of it, you’ll just be like all those other guys.
STRUCTURE CONVERSATION
I would really recommend getting the Free Instant Connection Course for this. It will guarantee you understand this and give you everything you need to pull off conversations when first meeting people.
The Structure –
Ask a question
This question is meant to start the conversation and get you on topic. You need to talk about things that are interesting to most women. You don’t need to work about ‘social value’, you need to realize the value of who you are and who she is, is all that needs to be communicated.
Topics –
Family
Passion
Ideals
Relationship
Sexuality
Spirituality
These are all topics I use. I use them because I can talk about this and enjoy the conversation. Before this was ever a ‘structure’ or ‘social dynamic’ it was a thing I cared about. This makes things easier.
In video 2 of Instant Connection we talk a lot about ‘Getting to the General’. This is what you want to do. You want to use –
Asking about passions and being able to talk about it, because you live it and find her passion.
Your passion and her passion are most likely very different. However, the ‘general’ topic is passions. Even though you’re passionate about finance and you’re not sure what she is passionate about just yet, that is fine. Because she understands you’re into finance there are already built in metaphors about that breakdown whatever she is into because it is a passion.
Watch the Instant Connection Course to truly understand this.
Once I establish a topic I might say something like –
“You know you’re really attractive and the problem with that is you attract a lot of attention, but it is all the wrong type of attention. Like people like that you’re tall, good looking, have a nice body, but never notice that you have so much depth inside you.”
This will start to point out one of the issues with ‘attractive women’ but it will also drive to the point of connection and what she really wants.
If I need to I will start pointing out the things listed above –
“You probably attract a lot of guy, but they end up being assholes, or cheaters”
“The problem with a girl who attracts a lot of attention is they attract guys that are really confident upfront but end up being the most insecure.”
“Those guys get insecure as soon as you get intimate. Basically as soon as it gets sexual he loses his shit.”
“The biggest thing about femininity is the ability to attract, and it is like you have it but for the wrong thing.”
MAKE THE CONNECTION
Once again if you as a man don’t have anything to offer you might want to start there. Don’t get good at being a guy that tricks women. Be a guy that has a lot to offer and communicate that to the people you want.
What does she want? She wants a guy to connect with the internal side of her on the same level people want the outsides of her. The problem is, she says YES to the guys who are the bad dudes.
You want to show that you have more to offer her. Here are some of the most effective lines I have used to instantly make that connection –
“I can tell you’re really passionate, but when was the last time a guy actually kissed that passion?”
“You’re really attractive, but what is the most attractive thing about you that most people never notice?”
“The saddest thing is you probably meet a lot of men who want to have sex with you, and act all inappropriate, but the real you has never been made love to.”
Now I can be a bit bold and I have been doing this for 11 years so, you might think those are too advanced. If you think that, you can start with this –
“You know, when you were talking about your passions I could see the real you. I bet all the guys you have dated never really saw that.”
“The biggest disappointment to me is seeing what I see and knowing that no one else ever saw that.”
You need to move in this direction. The unique things about her have been ignored and her femininity suffers for it.
Like I said,
I hope this helps on your journey. The Austin Men’s Development Board and the Instant Connection Course ( Get Instant Connection ) will help big time in all of this. Click on those links and get involved.
Social Dynamics are easy.
Telling your story is easy.
Being good with women and being a normal guy is easy!
Let’s do it
Steve
Questions? Just ask steve@thesexuallife.com
