So today I opened up my email box and I saw an email from MMAPUA and it made me smile…
then later I visited Nektar’s Blog and saw something else I liked.
MMAPUA was emailing me about
Daniel Goleman’s book Emotional Intelligence.
When I started in Game I read Social Intelligence. It was one of the best reads in terms of game. Literally every page in it had something that could work for game. I told everyone I knew about it and pretty much everyone said it was boring, except Shaft, and then Nautica at 2008’s Under 21 Convention talked at length about it too.
You should read all of Goleman’s books (and Ekman’s too).
Emotional Intelligence, Social Intelligence and Ecological Intelligence…
Since then I have based a ton of my theory and application off of Daniel Goleman and Paul Ekman’s research. So MMAPUA pointed this all out to me in his email, he wrote this about Emotional Intelligence-
I am currently reading a book called “Emotional Intelligence” by Daniel Goleman, and he wrote some thinks that made me think about your last few posts.
Let me give you some quotes from the book, and please feel free to give your insights on them.
“When two people interact, the direction of mood transfer is from the one who is more forceful in expressing feelings to the one who is more passive.”
“The degree of emotional rapport people feel in an encounter is mirrored by how tightly orchestrated their physical movements are as they talk.”
“Whether people feel upbeat or down, the more physically attuned their encounter, the more similar their moods will become.”
“Coordination of moods is the essence of rapport.”
“Setting the emotional tone of an interaction is, in a sense, a sign of dominance at a deep and intimate level: it means driving the emotional state of the other person.”
I think these quotes are very useful for pickup, and you also demonstrate that with your rapport building tactics and kino.
The goal is to get the girl in a state that is useful to picking her up, this can be done by both words and body language.
One of the keys is to be dominant.
What do you think?
Obviously I agree with you, I base a lot of theory and application off of Goleman’s work!
Then the next thing I do is go to one of my Former Students turned Badass PUA, turned PUA Instructor’s Blog and i read this Awesome Post. He just started his own Company and I think he is going to do great with it, he is a great guy and one of the great things about him is that I know he will do it right!
Today I read this on his blog and I love reading other Leaders in the PUA community writing stuff like this….
Check out Nektar’s Blog for more awesome stuff like this-
Know what you’re looking for (by Nektar)
There are plenty of PUAs out there (myself formerly included) who just go out with the end goal of getting laid by a hot girl. I can’t really argue with this goal, but I think a much better long-term strategy is to focus on the end goal of getting the exact type of women you want in your life.
While the difference in these two end goals may not be readily apparent, there really is an important variation in the latter mindset. You can’t really get the exact type of woman you want unless you have a specific vision in mind of what type of people you want to incorporate into your lifestyle.
A good place to start in establishing this mindset is to ask a.) what physical qualities do you look for in a woman? and b.) what type of personality traits do you look for in a woman? It also helps to have specific goals of what you want to accomplish in life, as well as having a solid vision of what type of man you strive to be.
Building rapport and establishing comfort are two important steps to take in the screening process for the physical and psychological qualities you require in a girlfriend, long-term relationship, fuck buddy, friend, etc. Don’t just focus on going through the motions and getting a girl to invest in an interaction. Actually make it mean something.
When qualifying a girl in an initial cold approach, take the qualification process seriously, and use your standards as the basis for qualification. Be honest about it, and don’t compromise your standards.
When building comfort, and when you are establishing a solid emotional connection with a girl, really make an effort to focus on what you are doing to achieve your goals in life. Talk about your goals and future vision. Be honest about what you want out of life…and what type of people you want in your life.
If you know where you are going in life, and you have a strong sense of what you are looking for in a woman, you are more likely to actually get what you want, rather than just trying to “luck out” and get a “decent” girl relative to your standards. This is the type of thing that leads to long-term success with women.
For more details on the process of establishing life goals, check out the home page of my company’s website at www.smoothattraction.com
In any case, I like looking at stuff like this from guys in the community. Again, it is guys who I taught, teaching me.
