Chasing Validation

The key to living a good sexual life means you stop making it about women and you start making it about you. For many reasons men and women chase what they are supposed to have when it comes to their personal identity rather than look at who they are.

This has turned into many different distortions. One of them is chasing validation. We see it over and over again with both men and women. Just the other day I was looking at an article about how an asian man was finally happy because he married a hot white woman. Don’t get me wrong you have sexual urges and desires for a reason, but to limit them to fit what other people think will never let you see what those urges are trying to tell you.

Men and women have more of a relationship today with validation than sex itself. If we were all having sex with our bodies minds and emotions we probably wouldn’t be a screwed up and lost as we are. Instead we are having sex with our needs insecurities and this image of perfection that will finally fix us.

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Sex is an expression of you, you are not a slave to it.

If you’re someone who is set and bound to needing a hot woman, a sense of adoration or acceptance from someone you need to stop making it about the thing you want to get and start making it about the voice inside you saying you need it. If you don’t, you’re going to get sold a bunch of quick fix products, get eternally frustrated, end up thinking you’re the problem and impossible to fix.

In reality the problem is within you, but all it needs is some honesty, expression and connection to start making it find its way to the sun.

I can tell you this…
I live the sexual life, I created the sexual life, because I lived sex and wanted women. I started by seeking validation. I found out what sex really is by being myself. It ain’t always easy…but that’s why I started TSL. Nothing beats a men’s group working to be better men.

Questions
Shoot em my way – Steve@theSexualLife.com

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Steve Mayeda

 

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