The Art of Being Sexual with your body, eyes, situation, and sense of masculinity.  How you can be a sexual man allowing her, to be a sexual woman. 

[highlight type=”standard, dark”]Listen to the 45 minute audio lesson to this article [/highlight]

Everyone wants good sex. No one wants to be objectified sexually. Your sexual urge is one of the prodigious parts of you, and communicating it to beautiful women is one of the greatest things you can do for yourself and the women you talk to. All women want to feel the true sexual urge of a man, but oftentimes this urge is lost and translation. There are 5 things you can do to communicate this urge more efficiently and right away. The above audio breakdown outlines them all. Use these principles, and you will be one step closer to living a fulfilled sexual life.

1 – Get Close

Getting closer is the best thing anyone can do to be more sexual, project intent, and get better and faster results with women. Whenever you can get close, the body starts communicating and creating more impact than your verbals or words. Getting closer creates a release of hormones and begins the spark which creates a sexual urge that cascades through her body and every emotion that is felt, intensifies. The real art is to make those intense feelings caused by getting close to feel comfortable enough to sustain. Intense emotions or feelings created in a short amount of time oftentimes sets off a woman’s fears and resistance, and without handling that resistance, they further intensify. Fear and resistance are natural and will happen. In fact in the long run, learning how to manage them is a good thing as one gain’s more experience because they determine the route of seduction you will take. If you’re just getting your feet wet again, practice and work on getting as close as possible to the women you find attractive right up to the point of creating tension.

Exercise in space –
When meeting new people, at the very beginning upon greeting them, enter their space past the point that is too close for comfort for about 1-1.5 seconds. You are essentially breaking the comfort zone with them and creating tension. If it is in the daytime, this might be 1.5 feet; if you’re in a night club where there is a lot of stimuli get about 6-8 inches away from them. Right before she is about to pull back and move away (usually 1.5 seconds) pull back just a few inches and maintain that space. Keep a smile on your face alongside a calm and fun tonality. If you can maintain this space, you’ll notice your interactions with women will be a lot more sexual. The tension and feeling created from moving close into her proximity within the first 2 seconds, brings sexuality and the expression of your masculinity to the table instantly whether you’re actually speaking directly about dating or not.

2 – Eye-Contact & Facial Expressions

One of the most powerful ways to start being sexual with a woman is to use your facial expressions and eye-contact. When 2 human beings are looking at one another, their feelings and emotions change. Human beings match emotions, and the more connected we are, the more we will do this. For instance if we just meet someone and we are acting on the surface level and we are maintaining good eye-contact and carrying a happy and open expression with our face, that person is more likely to open up. However, if we can elicit a true expression from that person, perhaps get a woman to talk about her deepest passions with us, by simultaneously showing an expression of interest, infatuation, or arousal on our faces, we can leap deeper into a level of connection of intimacy and sex with just our facial expressions. This alone can make everything easier especially later on when when it comes to bringing up intent, asking for her number or stating that we think they’re attractive. And oftentimes the small action above can reverse the roles and make women to state their intent or ask for the number etc.

Exercise in facial expressions –
When you meet people, take some time and try to observe what happens as you maintain eye contact with them, and at the same time, get them to follow your lead with your facial expressions. As a simple example, next time you’re talking to someone, throw in a smile too see if they mirror you. See how your different facial expressions can influence people.

Finding your facial expressions –
If you’re not familiar with your facial expressions, spend a few minutes each day in front of a mirror and go over these expressions. I know it will feel weird at first, but you will be building massive social intelligence from this.

Practice in the mirror –

• Happiness
• Interest
• Joy
• Intrigue
• Focused
• Concerned

Taking it further –
When you’re talking to an attractive woman begin to try and lead her with your facial expressions. As outlined above if you’re ever in a situation, or better yet you know how to elicit a woman’s deepest expressions, you can show arousal towards this. This will communicate the direct message that her real self is turning you on. Women instantly read this without setting off as much resistance as if we were to directly say it. Of course you should speak your truth (as explained below) but this is an easy way to get sexual while using an average everyday experience of simply talking to a woman. Just think this already happens in your life, you might as well take advantage of it.

Covered in the audio –

• Practice the facial expressions of being sexually aroused.
• Looking out of the corner of your eye
• Playing with your hair
• Biting of the lip

3 – Touching

Human beings are wired for touch. The fact that we have so little touching in our culture represses one of the most basic expressions used for connecting with each other. Touching isn’t a tool of social dynamics, it is what people do naturally to communicate. One of the most common question that arises when trying to learn this skill is what is the right way to do it? In addition one of the most common fears that keep men from building this social ability is the fear of doing it the wrong way and being chastised or getting in trouble for being too bold. Let us clear this up, and get you functional at the art of touching and expressing some sexual intent.

It isn’t about what you touch, but how you touch. 
How you touch should have the following characteristics: it should be natural, subtle, and help you get close. Now if you’re a guy like me, that still may not make total sense.

Exercise in touching –
Let’s start with a handshake, this will help you get close and set you up for some non-verbal that we will learn below. Every time you shake someone’s hand give a slight pull, but don’t pull them into you. Instead take a step into or toward them. It will create the illusion and give the feeling like they or she was the one that (1) gave a slight pull in (2) it was them initiating getting closer to you. It is an amazing effect and alleviates the resistance created if you were the one to pull them towards yourself If you were to pull them toward yourself. Thus stepping into them makes it nice and easy without the chance of startling them.

A few other exercises would be to –

• Touch then you first talk to someone
• Don’t look at where you’re touching, just do it
• Choose easy places like their arm, using an open hand. It is not a grab it is a touch
• No need to hold it there, touch for 1-2 seconds and then let go.

When you start out your conversations with a touch, it builds connection, but then it also makes it easier to touch as time goes on. Remember, your most important tool is still getting close. This is the most important when it comes to seduction and intimacy. Touching is only powerful if you get close. So many men tell me, ‘I touched her here and there and everywhere, why didn’t she escalate?’ In reality it is less about the touch, and more about the building and releasing of sexual tension.

Learn to touch as an expression of your sexual intent, but as we will go over, not the only tool under your belt that can be used.

4 – Sub-communications (Non-Verbals)

Speaking sex without words

Seduction is a dance which is sub-communicated and most men get confused by this. Using your sub-communications to communicate your feelings of sex with her feelings of sex is necessary and a very important piece of the puzzle.. And while your eye-contact, facial expressions and how close you are, are all parts of the non-verbal recipe, there is a bit more to it than that. And this is where the underlying meaning (or sub-communication) such as your touch, vocal tonality, your overall reactions, how close you get, and the pacing at which you communicate creates the overall emotion, subtext, that defines the context between you and her.

The best way to practice this (and this should be practiced in all the interactions with women you meet) is to first start showing your intent and desire via your touch.

1 – Empower Your Sexual Urge –
Your sexual urge is what makes you a man. You need to be proud of it. You need to know that feeling what you feel is not wrong. It might be a little intense, it might be something that would scare the public or even yourself. But usually that intense urge is not even your true sexual expression. It is a product of years of repression, where men in our society can no longer be men. Wanting women is frowned upon and shamed. You need to learn to communicate it and connect it. Walk around each and everyday allowing yourself to think your thoughts, feel your urge and be a sexually charged man.

2 – Connecting Your Urge –
This sexual charge needs to be released. There is an art to this. When you talk to a woman that you find attractive, start trying to communicate that feeling with your presence, eye contact and total communication minus the verbals. For instance, if you let your mind run wild with the beautiful woman in front of you at the cafe you get your morning coffee from every morning. You might go through your same consistent verbal dialog of ordering your drink and talking about random superficial conversations. However when you’re talking to her you’re projecting that feeling of wanting to take her and make love to her with your complete sexual desire with how you stand, look and smile at her. You need to learn how to hold that tension and be willing to feel it in front of someone. In this situation you might not be able get the release you’re looking for, this brings us to step 3.

3 – Releasing & Exchange the Urge –
Throughout your day you have been allowing yourself to feel sexual. Communicating it and feeling it with your sub-communications and non-verbals. In order to release all that sexual tension you need a connection with someone. This is where you need to start speaking your truth to the the women in front of you.

5 – When You Do Speak, Speaking Your Truth

Men in our culture have been so starved from being a man, it is has taught us to deny ourselves our one of our root expressions. It has also left women starved sexually searching for femininity in outlets that cannot be fulfilled. Part of being a man is being able to say what you feel, state your intent and be who you are. This is the release you need to start with.

Exercise –
Once a day, on a daily basis tell women that you think about them. You only need to pick one, and you want to get the good result of you feeling empowered and her feeling like a woman. When your thoughts, words, and actions are all in alignment, feelings of shame or being perceived as creepy will be replaced by genuine expression which makes her feel like a woman.

Example 1 –
You’re at that same cafe where you built your sexual urge and after you get your coffee you see a woman who is entering as you’re exiting, and you notice her beautiful presence. You take a quick moment to go through these simple steps –

1 – Give it a Beginning –
Here we are starting a simple short easy to do conversation that will speak your truth, make you feel good and her feel good.
“Excuse me, but can you take a sincere compliment? (Wait for her reply, hopefully ‘yes’) You are really beautiful.”

2 – Offer Her An Empowering and Simple Way to Reply –
“I just had to tell you in case no one has told you. What’s your name?” 
This one is pretty passive but we are looking for a way that is socially acceptable in the situation where we can get that specific result of us feeling empowered, sexual and her walking away feeling great.

3 – Give it an Ending –
You want it to feel good for everyone, give it an ending. This will cut the awkward feeling and give you both a great feeling, while you’re still being sexual.
“Just wanted to tell you that, you have a great day.”

Example 2 –
You’re hanging out at a bar and you’re with friends. You see an undeniably drop dead gorgeous woman also at the bar. You don’t know if she is with a guy to friends or what. Rather than getting in your head like you might usually do, thinking, ‘does she have a ring?’, ‘how do I approach her?’, ‘is she with a guy in the bathroom?’ and so on, and rather than joking about it with your friends you make your move. Stating beauty is what she deserves and what you feel. You are not ‘trying to seduce her’ you’re being a man, and you’re making her feel like a woman. If there’s a problem with that, then that is part of the problem of society culture and sex. You need to be a part of the change. You put yourself in your feet, rather than in your head and you step towards her. 

The nerves build as you approach. She sees you coming and you can’t stop now. Like a man you end up in front of her and…

1 – Give it a Beginning –
“I had to come over and say hello.”
Perhaps she looks at you funny and is about to tell you something, but you want to make sure this interaction has a voicing you want.

2 – Offer Her an Empowering and Simple Way to Reply –
“I’m not meaning to make you nervous or uneasy I just wanted to tell you what everyone should tell you. You’re beautiful.”
In this situation men often start to get some resistance. It is important to know how to deal with this. You need to see that this is part of the problem. To flirt with a woman is part of expression and a beautiful thing. It is not presenting a woman with a threat or something they’re accosted by, but it is living women the attention and choice they deserve. This is what you should say in these situations. If you want to be slightly more confronting you can add something like these examples –
“Do you always feel threatened when people tell you the truth.”
“Do compliments usually make you so defensive? A compliment is just a gift, not a sign of battle.”
or
“I was simply seeing telling you what everyone should tell you, maybe you’re not used to that.”

3 – Give it an Ending –
We want to learn to end our conversations. This is not to escape or run, but in the long run it will teach you to lead and build a tension with women you talk to. Of course for all situations this is not your only ‘move’, but for this exercise of working our sexual tension and expression we want us to feel good and her to feel good.
“You have a good evening, hopefully you have the night you deserve.”

Living As A Sexual Man

Our role as men needs to include flirting with women, in a way we feel like men and allows women the choice to be a woman.

This short instructional tutorial, ends with a way of verbally communicating. However, we are speaking the language of the sexual man. We are cultivating the necessary beliefs, mentality and language of sexuality within us.

Be sure and listen to the audio component of this, to hear the tonality, delivery and to really learn the entire scope of what we are teaching here. This is so you can live a great life. It is your time to do that, and all you need is a little bit of action to get there.

Questions & Comments – leave a comment or if it’s more personal you can email me at steve@theSexualLife.com

Be Social
Be Sexual
Live Life

Steve Mayeda