3 Days Will Change Your Life!
This is a lie.

It never happens.
In fact, it is impossible.
The reason why is human behavior doesn’t work that way.

In 3 days, 5 days, 10 days even 30 days you can learn some information get valuable feedback and possibly get a lot of information that can change your life, but it won’t change your life.

You will not be good with women.   You will not cure your loneliness.  You will not have a new confidence.   The sad truth of it is, you might feel that way for a few days, even weeks, but within 6 months to a year you will be worse off than you were before.

The truth is for 90% of people who take a PUA workshop within 1 year they will be unhappier, more confused and more socially and sexually frustrated than they were to begin with.

For 10 years I have taught in the PUA Industry and I know what works and I know what doesn’t.  Workshops can be effective, but not how the vast majority of the industry teaches them.  In fact any workshop that doesn’t have a minimum 6 month follow up, where guys can come together as a community and get consistent feedback, support and instruction, will not work.  It will fail.  It will produce the consistent result of men getting pumped up, excited and swearing that their life is changed forever and then feeling lost and confused a few months later.  It is the perfect recipe for creating a self-help junkie.

Your sex, your life, ambition and sense of self is bigger than a quick fix –

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WHY?
HUMAN BEHAVIOR

90% of all Human Behavior Changes Fail

But they don’t have to

Why is this?

It is not because the information is wrong, it is not because the instructors were in competent (although in the dating industry there is a lot of bad information and poor instructors).  The reason why is because behavioral change.  Beliefs, habits, social intelligence, confidence and sexual confidence travel a completely different road than how they are sold.

Your ability to be sexual, be social and build a lifestyle that is congruent with you is an internal and behavioral change. 15 days with the best instructors in the world can’t change that.

90% FAILURE RATE

This is not only for Pick Up and Dating, but it goes for all behavioral changes.

Health –

If you were to look online right now how to lose weight or get in shape there are literally thousands of ways that can work to achieve this goal.  It is absolute.  You could go ‘paleo’, you could do ‘crossfit’ you could ‘count your calories’ you could do ‘high intensity training’.  In some way shape or form all of those work.

However, here is the real world stats on all of this.  If you’re out of shape and overweight the worst thing you could do is go on a diet. Why? Because  within 2 years 90% of the people who go on a diet and force themselves to get ‘results’ end up fatter and in worse health than they started.   It isn’t the diet, it isn’t the exercise, it is this phenomenon of human behavior.   It makes sense what to do, eat right and use your body and you get in shape and stay in shape, but it doesn’t work that way.   What doesn’t work is the more we follow an ideology, a set path or an absolute human beings will always break from that path.  Why, because we are restricting choice and expression.  They didn’t learn to turn that diet into their way of life.

That entire 90% knew what to do.  Most of them did it, and yet they failed, even ended up worse.

Addiction –

Drug, Alcohol, Porn, Gambling ect…

Addiction is something I have more experience with than being a dating coach.  I know it well.  I know how it works and what it does to people.  There are multiple ways to manage it, and take someone who is suffering form any addiction and bring them back to a functioning life.   However within 2 years it will have a 95% failure rate of that person going back to that way of life.  Doing drugs until your life is ruined, drinking when you have 3 DUIs or masturbating to porn for 11 hours a day when you can’t get an erection with a woman are all things that are obviously harming you.  It doesn’t make sense to cave to what is causing it.  But it will happen.  It does happen.

If you want to see a force of nature that defies all logic and turn someone’s life into hell on earth, start working with drug addicts.  You go to a lot of funerals.  You see some of the greatest people you will ever meet, full of love and compassion turn into monsters who ultimately kill themselves.

All of them know what to do, but it is how they do it is what kills them.

The PUA Industry

This brings us to Personal Change, Men’s Development and the PUA Industry

I have taught in the PUA Industry for a decade now and for nearly all of that decade I have been critical of it.   Perhaps this is because of my background in addiction.  Seeing how change happened in myself and watching 1000s of guys who had horrific problems with drugs and alcohol transform into great functioning people made me realize how different internal and behavioral change is.

True change for a man to transform into a lifestyle that he is proud of happy and fully expressed is very possible.  In fact every single person on earth today, man and woman, should be living a life where they are purpose-filled, healthy and socially and sexually happy simply because they can.

The guarantee of the PUA industry of confidence, a sexually active life (however you want to have it) and be a purpose-filled man are achievable.  We do it all the time at TSL.  To quote my buddy Chance who spoke at one of our events –

“All the stuff I was talking about, the orgies, the open relationship the polyamory, even the celibacy and monogamy.  Those were all a part of my sex life at some point.   But it only works if you’re good with yourself when you’re doing it.”

Men turn to techniques, models and methods as an answer to their problems.  “If I only do more, or do it better, I will finally get results.”

The problem is Pick Up has hurt men and masculinity more than it has ever hurt women.  There is now an entire subculture of men who don’t know women, don’t get laid, hating themselves and everyone around them who know more about social dynamics than me.   Somehow they’re empowered by knowing everything about the history or story of some mythical guru they only know from youtube, and that means something.  That is their community.  That this their sex, that is their brotherhood.

Bottomline is any quick fix guarantee to change your life will fail.  It cannot work.  How you have sex, meet women, believe in yourself, learn to express who you are cannot be changed easily.  It takes time.  It takes community and support.  It takes life and it takes experience.  If you don’t have that experience you need to get it and live it.

Most behavioral changes we think we can confine ourselves to a system, push ourselves and step it up to be a man.  This sort of force is called neurosis.  It is obsession and compulsion.  It may serve its purpose now and again, but it is not a trait to cultivate.  As a man (or woman) we want to hone our good traits, holding on to tension, knowing when to release it, learning how to make a decision and exercise choice.   This idea to lose weight, beat your demons, gain skill with women and so on are already in you.  Learn to live life and let them out.  This is how that 5%-10% succeeded and achieved true lasting change.

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TRUE CHANGE

What we see in all of the examples above, the people that did succeed followed some very important steps, that humanity has proven are near impossible.  This is the 5%-10%.  In order to succeed they needed to make a way of life.   They needed to do that very specifically.  They didn’t need to force anything (maybe at first) but they needed to make it a livable and doable way of life.  To force, to be alpha to always be pushing your comfort zone and so on, is a neurosis not a path to happiness.   A neurosis is pretty hard to maintain, that is one of the reasons the failure rate is so high.

I have seen many people change permanently, in many different ways.  There are always 3 things in common.  They are listed below.  This is what we use and model in TSL Online.  This is also why the program is so successful.

1 – Long Term –

Your purpose, sex, beliefs, social interactions, expression and everything that gives your identity meaning is a life skill.  It must be done everyday.  Progress is never fast.  If your life and lifestyle cannot sustain the results it gets it will collapse.  Perfect example of this is the guy who enters the industry and gets amazing results.  He has sex with many women, having many adventures and get’s all the perks of what pick up guarantees.  Yet he has no confidence, he doesn’t know how to be around many women, have relationships, handle his emotions and so on.  His life will implode and all he will know how to do is pick up chicks to try and deal with his unhappiness.  If you’ve been in the industry  for a while, you probably know a guy like this.

2 – Community –

I have never seen true change in anyone without a community of like minded people living that way of life.  This goes for all forms of internal and behavioral change.  You need to be around people that have more experience than you, the same experience as you and less experience than you.  If you have that, learning any way of life becomes much easier.

3 – Sustainable –

How you live socially and sexually needs to be a daily action that can be done in any and all situations.  It should not be dependent on a venue or situation, but should only have the requirement of other people to be around and interact with.  It should never have to be forced.   It should be simple, basic and done by living, not by manufacturing.  To put it simply, in the past 10 years I’ve seen people manage their addictions and find a new way of life, get in shape and be healthy, see men grow into their ideal at TSL and see guys buy into pick up and become worse with women, lose their friends and after doing everything right turn into a complete embarrassment.

How we teach at TSL is only to empower the man.  Be yourself, be sexual, be social, connect as a community of honest men.  This is what gets results where men gain and live a happy sexual life. It isn’t simply a result, it is beyond that.  It is a way of life.

Whether you are interested in the message of TSL, take our courses or never get involved with what we do one thing you always need to know is the value of you is the most important thing.  Anything that makes you submit who you are at the expense of going a result is a lie.  Everything that is within you, your sexual urge, your social urge, your ambition, vision and sense of self is a force of nature.  Start treating it that way.  Stop disrespecting it with the need for an immediate result and start feeding it, and getting to know it.

If you’re interested in TSL Online our Spring Course is about to begin.   A community of excellence, living the social dynamic to be the better man.

Thanks for reading, comments welcome!

 

Steve Mayeda

Steve@theSexualLife.com