I am not sure how much I am going to write about this…
In fact i am not sure how helpful this all is for people to read.
However I do feel that there are MASSIVE problems in the PUA community and I want to spend the next few articles focusing on that.
However, which ever direction I choose to express all this, it would be almost necessary to start with this Article Written by MunichHawk.
MunichHawk is someone I would consider a friend as well as a top notch PUA. I have only hung out with him once when traveling through Germany but he’s a pretty amazing person. He is truly someone to look up to.
The reason why I say this is not cause the article written below, but because of his ‘content of character’ as a great man once said.
I was chatting with him on Skype one day and he was telling me about how he was taking care of his mother and brothers. Munich Hawk is one of those guys that once you start talking to him you immediately realize how dense his spirit is.
I always knew he had a lot on his plate and always managed to live by a certain set of ideals but when you interact with him you realize how much of a Human Being he is, and it is almost impossible not to look up to him.
That being said, somehow the conversation ended up with us talking about the PUA Community (how the 2 of us met). He said a lot…so much I asked him to write about it.
When he emailed it to me I read it and was amazed.
I even showed it to a few instructors and they were amazed.
I asked him if I could post it.
He told me I could post it, and even use his name, as long as I mentioned that he Loves the PUA Community, it has helped him and allowed him to help others; however, there is a lot wrong with it, and in posting this it is done with the intention of Change rather than Judgment.
When I read it I realized how guilty I am of this as well, and I think many of us have been. Like I said in the next few posts I plan on addressing and expanding upon many of the ideas the MunichHawk addresses in this.
MunichHawk’s: Top 10 Community shitlist
(in no particular order)
-The value phallacy
The belief that you only should interact with people of equal or higher value then yourself.
It has some social darwinistic touch to it as well as it excludes certain people and professions out. There even is this certain belief that you should cut people out of your life who don´t try to be rich and famous. This is unsocial, weird and a little sociopathic.
The belief that you need to strive for beeing rich or famous in order to get girls is wrong in so many ways. To get a girl you need to share values but they don´t have to be materialistic.-Ten game only
The phallacy to only get “10´s”. I always have the impression that this is more about bragging in FR/LR´s then really based on attraction for a girl. Sure everyone wants a girl he considers as hot but only hot isn´t enough. Next to physical attraction girls should have goals, visions, character, intelligence, humor, etc.
-Consistency
The myth companys through out there that there Instructors only fuck 10´s and that they nearly get 5/5.
Nobody in the world gets that, it´s pure marketing and it´s harmfull for newbies.
They really believe that they have to get 5/5 and think about how bad they are if they had a weak night out.-Natural Game
Let´s face it, the majority of the guys in the community found it because they were bad with women. A natural has a natural ability to interact socially. Most people go into the community because they lack social intuition. Even if they learn to be really good in the game is practically not possible to become a natural. The term natural game is more a marketing gag then a solid philosophy. And the discussions if natural game is better then using routines is just point and useless.
-Marketing
The community started as a fairly anarchistic place like the internet in a whole. People shared their ideas and experience to get better with women. After a while clever guys found out that you can make a lot of money if you offer training. One of the problems that arised after the community basically became a market is the over the top marketing.
Various companys fight with each other for customers and therefore the things and personal they offer had be appear more and more exclusive.
Today nobody would join a bc were the advertisement says: “Learn the skills to seduce a decent amount of girls.”
It has to be: “How to get every girl you want! Fuck Strippers and Playboy models like all of our Instructors did! This man alone fucked 5 strippers this afternoon!”
The community today is more about clever marketing then about real content. Old ideas rehashed under a different name sold for thousands of dollars. The only good thing is not everybody joined the majority….yet.-Anti Feminism
A weird situation in the community. Nearly all companys say that the goal is to find a girl which is smart, ambitious, funny etc. But on the same time I see anti-feministic statements all over the place. The belief that “in the good old days” were Mommy stayed in the kitchen and Daddy brought the food on the table and was the only boss in the house, were sooo much better because men used to be real men and not pussies because of the feminist movement in the 60´s/70´s, is just disgusting.
-Charlatans
Seriously, if you don´t know how to seduce a girl, stay out of business.
-The asshole syndrome
We see this all the time. Nice guys find the community and turn into real assholes after a while. They discover “cocky and funny” and think: “Now it´s payback time, bitches!”
This is so plain wrong. Being a friendly dude is important to get laid! All the naturals I know are nice, kind and friendly guys, they just don´t tolerate bullshit from others. It´s not lower value behavior if you are nice to someone. Not being friendly only means one thing: You are insecure.-The wannabe Instructor
My favorite kind of people are the kind of guys who want to be Instructors as soon as they discover the community. At first (told me by real Instructors) these guys never make it. And second: This journey should be for you not for others. You are not in the community to get approval from people you never met in your life. Learning game should enrich your life, it should help you become: “your best self possible.” And not to get cheers from fanboys on an online board.
-A Boot Camp is not a solution for everything.
I read about that all the time and saw it with my own eyes. A lot of guys with mental problems like depression think if they just do a Boot Camp they whole life will turn. This is just wrong. Nobody should consider a Boot Camp if he didn´t solved his hardest psychological problems yet. Instructors are not psychologists, or social scientists and they don´t want to be it. Sort out your shit as good as you can, spend time infield and then after some success join a bc to fix your SP´s. I would love to read about this on a company website but to this day I never did.
I loved your part about boot camps. It would be interesting to get a more detailed view on the workings of a bc because most of what we read are testimonials from people who went into one. The problem with those testimonials is that they are written shortly after the BC when most students are still impressed with the overall experience and they appear on the company’s website, where you never read negative testimonials. AFAIK there was never a serious study conducted on students and how well they fare 1,3,6 months after the boot camp.
SO F’ING TRUE. I laughed my ass off at a few of these things.
Had a chance to talk to MunichHawk when I was in Germany. Very cool guy.
Excellent article, I especially like the parts about being genuinely nice and using what you learn to enrich your life for the positive, which means treating everyone with respect/not being a social snob/asshole. My personal belief is that you should strive to focus on improving yourself first and others will be attracted to you as a result.
Hey El Topo!
You know how helpful this is to share, which is why you shared it.
I think these are all salient points. I think all new newbies should be aware of them. I think all newbies should do a minimum number of cold approaches before attending a BC (Sinn recommended 1000 approaches before attending his BC (which I did)… had I known, I would have done at least 100 before attending. My BC would have been worth it, then. MM didn’t tell me at the time that it was recommended… they wanted my money instead. Gotta leave some heart in business to be REALLY successful).
It’s obvious to me that most marketing serves two purposes: 1.) make men feel insecure about their current abilities and 2.) convince them that they have the NEWEST best answer for making them MPUAs in only 1 hour and 7 minutes with the best, best, best system ever devised that is foolproof, blah, blah, blah. Like MH says, it’s detrimental to newbies and I dare say may even make them have a harder time of it. All learning begins with baby steps, not a moon shot. Note, I say ‘begins’ because you can start making bigger strides once you find your own rhythm.
I feel it necessary to chat a bit about misogynists and sociopaths. My skin crawls when I meet them in the community; it’s even worse when I see a jerk that’s stumbled upon the info on his own and is going off without the marginal positive input the community at least provides on a peer basis. I want to tattoo “Stay Away” on their foreheads in ink…. ink that only women can see to warn them. I’ve encountered too many women that have had their inner game shredded by assholes.
Many of us would like to find our soul mate some day. I hate to think of these jerks out there causing irreparable damage to my potential mates just to boost their feeble egos and give them bragging rights. Giving some of these jerks PUA skills (in addition to shots of tequila) is like giving a 3 yr old toddler a permanent marker and setting him free in the Louvre. I really wish there was a good way to screen out assholes so they couldn’t get hold of this info 🙂
Thanks for sharing ET. I’m looking forward to part 2.
– Synth
I´m glad you guys like the article!
I had these thoughts in my head for a while now.
Great suprise: When I get a reaction about the article it´s always positive.
Nice article, El Topo and MunichHawk,
The “high value” / “low value” BS is one of my personal pet peeves. Remember in school how the most popular kids were actually the ones who were friends with EVERYONE? I bet if we went back and interviewed them, they didn’t view people as high or low value, just as people.
Guys can never win that game once they get in it. Someone else is always “higher value,” and they end up beating themselves up and getting down on themselves. I always teach “everyone has equal value.” It makes everyone approachable. Sure, I can talk to that person, because we have equal value.
Ah, what a relief.