TSL Online just started yet another group.  Many people join TSL Online for a variety of reasons.

  • Get better with women,
  • Live a better life
  • Have more happiness

However one of the greatest exercises we practice in TSL Online has nothing to do with how you talk to someone, or a social dynamic – yet at the same time it is responsible for making you

  • Live a better life,
  • Have better friends
  • Build better relationships
  • Having a better sex life

That is the act of being grateful for what you have in your life right now.   This is not easy, but is a very simple exercise and something you can do right now.  It might not make sense, but if you want a better sex life and life with women, be grateful for what you have.   Sex is one of the greatest tools of communication.  If you’re going to use that tool in anyway you need to be in touch with yourself.  When you do that, your life gets better.

Today is Easter and I invite you to join me in this exercise.

To learn more about TSL Online and becoming a part of this family of direct action – Click Here              

(It will change your life)

 

How I Learned Gratitude – 

Gratitude didn’t happen to me, I had to learn it.   I may have had my moments where I felt good because things could have gone wrong or I got out of some trouble, but true gratitude transcends throughout your entire life. When we think of gratitude it is like seduction, it needs to be a way of life in order to have meaning, impact and influence.   In order for me to be happy, fulfilled and have purpose in my life I need constant actions keeping me in balance.   Gratitude is a necessary component.   If I want to have better experiences with women I need to find the gratitude for what I have now, even if that is no experience.   You might be thinking this doesn’t make sense.  I thought the same thing…because of this I wasted years and years of doing things the wrong way.

I proved to myself that you could do many things without being anything.  

In my life I have had many highs and lows.  I have been happy and sad in the highs and the lows.  What I realized is my life’s happiness and ability to communicate from myself (one of my highest values) had nothing to do with my situation (good or bad).  It had to do with my perspective.  This is where gratitude comes into play.  I have proven to myself over and over again that I could have everything I could ever want yet still be unhappy.  I have also proven that I could lose everything and still find happiness and purpose.   The struggle has been to find the balance in this.

Today is Easter.  That has no religious meaning to me but it is a good metaphor.  Spring, rebirth, resurrection.  Everyday is it important to take an action ‘being grateful’ as a way of life.   I have a simple way of doing it, and it is a simple action that is a lot older than me.

The first time an action of gratitude was suggested to me was when I was 17 years old by a guy named Jerry.  Jerry was an ex con who spent years in Folsom Prison.

 

Jerry –

coffee1

I was a 17 and being loud and obnoxious at a restaurant with some of my friends.  We were being dicks to the waitress making a mess and being loud and disrespectful.  He was eating with a friend at the booth next to ours.  Apparently we pissed him off and he got up and walked in front of our table, Jerry was huge, I mean massive.  He had white hair, a beard and a face that had weathered a tough life.   He said with his booming voice,

“You kids need to shut the fuck up and learn some fucking respect.  I don’t give a fuck what you do when you’re alone but when it pisses me off we can handle this on my terms.  You got that.” 

He paused,

“Now shut the fuck up.”

He walked away.  We shut up.  It was that uncomfortable silence where none of us knew what to do.    We got up paid for our bill and tried to tip good with the money we had.   My friends went outside, and for some reason I went over to Jerry’s table and tried to apologize.   When I started to he just looked at me like, ‘what the fuck is this dumbass going to say now’, and before I let out any words I started crying.   All I could say was ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry’.  I didn’t know what was happening.  I didn’t think I would burst into tears, but Jerry knew what he saw, a troubled kid.  Jerry stood up towering above me grabbed me and hugged me.   It was one of the most compassionate moments in my life. He said,

“You’re alright kid, you have my respect.  But your real apology needs to be to that waitress and the restaurant.”  

I went up to the waitress and said I was sorry, she just looked at me sweetly and said, ‘no problem, you guys were just having fun’.

I didn’t know what to do so I walked outside to meet my friends and tried to act like I wasn’t crying.  As I regrouped with them I heard Jerry say from outside the front door, ‘Hey kid come over here, you just did something that took me years to learn.’   I walked over to him.

He said,

“For years I lived my life not being responsible for my actions.  I didn’t care about who I pissed off, hurt or disrespected.  It took a lot of misery to get to a point where I could look people in the eye and live like a human again.  You learned how to be responsible today, now don’t stop.  My name is Jerry.  If you want call me and we can talk more.” 

He gave me his number.

Mentoring 1

I called Jerry, and we started meeting up.  Jerry had a lot of stuff to teach from a different perspective.  He had groups of guys that he mentored.  I am not sure why he did it, but maybe it was a part of some community service.  Either way he was good at it and his heart was in it.  He had spent time in Folsom, done horrible crimes and lived a life even I couldn’t imagine.  He was a hardcore guy but he had peace to him.  That was what he had focused on most.  His whole life revolved around serenity and living a good life.  It was a message I could listen to.   A man who had killed people, beaten people and also been beaten, stabbed and shot himself was a man I could listen to.  The man that could find serenity in that was a voice I could hear.  He didn’t advertise it, he didn’t exploit it he just lived honestly with his experience.  He was a humble man, and a powerful man.

He said he live a spiritual way of life.  This was one of the first times I heard this concept.  He wasn’t religious and I am not even sure if he believed in god, but he was absolute about living via spiritual principles.   “Give people respect, be honest, be openminded.  Treat people and things how you would want to be treated, really think about what that means and explore it.”  Jerry would only give suggestions.  He said, “I know when anyone told me what to do I’d say fuck you and not do it.  If you want to change you need to do from within yourself.”

The first time I came to his group and the last he always stress making a ‘gratitude list’ – a list of things you’re grateful for in your life right now.  “Wake up, be humble and be thankful that you get to be a part of this, and at night you can do the same.  Make a list and write it down, you’ll feel better.”

Needless to say Jerry taught me many thing.  After about a year of hanging out with Jerry he moved to Northern Ca and I never saw him again.  Perhaps I was too young, perhaps I need more of life to kick me in the ass, but I didn’t move into a way of being just yet.   I was still looking for the doing way of life.    Many of those things he taught I soon forgot.  I needed more life, I needed more craziness in my life.  I needed to keep fighting and doing things my way.   Years later I found myself humbled again at one of those low points.  I started changing.  I started working on myself again.  I remembered one of those things Jerry suggested to do but I never thought I needed.  I remember it just didn’t make sense.  How could writing down the things I am grateful for make me happier or change my life?  This time, however I heard the message from someone else.  I heard it from someone who had a similar story as me.  They said it made them happier, and made them happy over all.   I decided to try it.

An Exercise for You – Being Grateful

writing-center_out221

Today I want to share my gratitude with you.  This is a great tool that I have found it able to transform my life.   If you would like to start on this or you already make a gratitude list feel free to leave it in the comments below.   It can be the start to a great exercise that always brings m back to being happy with what I have and what my real purpose is.

If you decide to take a few moments and leave your list in the comment section you could be starting out on a path where you find a new outlet for happiness and perspective.    I hope you join me in this life tool I have found so beneficial.  Please leave your gratitude in the Comments, it will make you feel better.  Who knows maybe it will help make that change in your life you never would have expected…

 

 

 

Thanks

Steve

 

My Gratitude List for Today

Today I am grateful for the people in my life that I am spending this holiday with

I am grateful for this computer I am writing on

I am grateful for my kids

I am grateful for the good food in my life

I am grateful for my job

I am grateful for the people in my groups

I am grateful to have my health

I am grateful for my dogs

I am grateful for a place to live

I am grateful to have my truck

I am grateful to have the ability to communicate with the people I care about