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[custom_headline type=”left, center, right” level=”h2″ looks_like=”h3″ accent=”true”]GETTING HEALTHY w/YOUR SEXUAL LIFE[/custom_headline]
The journey to sexual freedom doesn’t have to have hookers and blow.  It doesn’t have to have drama and pain.  But if you do live in that repression at some point you will break and not even know how you got there.  You will be lost looking for an answer, living as one bad social and sexual reaction to the world around you.  The whole purpose of TSL is for you to live a healthy social and sexual life while being an authentic expression of yourself.  There is no compromise in this.  Because it is based on authenticity it can’t have any set system to follow or a dogma to make ‘your life’.  You have to live your life.   You need to find and build your own method.  TSL has methods and structures that are only based on adaptation. This is because all social and sexual value is dependent on choice and expression.  Below the video there are a few things that I do, as well as other members of TSL…


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[custom_headline type=”left, center, right” level=”h2″ looks_like=”h3″ accent=”true”] 1 – Make a meaningful connection once a day[/custom_headline]

Be yourself and connect to someone else being themselves.  A lot of times this is simply me saying hello to someone and asking them about their life.  If they aren’t used to having a short conversation with someone that has meaning I share about myself.  In fact there is a whole technique that we teach called Rapport Cycling that does this.  However, as long as I am being ‘me’ and expressing ‘me’ to them all I can do is do my best to see if they will express back.  If not, no big deal.   I’ll talk to someone else at some point.
It is sad when you think about, but human beings were meant to connect with one another and be social, but it is abnormal to make a connection with a stranger these days.

[custom_headline type=”left, center, right” level=”h2″ looks_like=”h3″ accent=”true”] 2 – Express your sexuality once a day [/custom_headline]
Once a day, everyday I honor my sexual urge.  Usually for me that means I am sexually attracted to a woman.  I am in a relationship and I love my partner.  She is my entire world, and I honor that everyday, but almost everyday, sometimes many times a day I notice a woman that I find attractive.  I might say hello, I might smile. I might simply get closer.  I might tell her she is attractive, but the thing is I try and express, not repress, what I was born and made to feel.  If I build up tension with that other woman or women I hold on to it and I release it with Maria.  I also don’t set up any connection beyond talking to them.  Not because that is right or wrong, but it is a rule I have for myself and my relationship.  You would need to come up with your own rules.

[custom_headline type=”left, center, right” level=”h2″ looks_like=”h3″ accent=”true”] 3 – Unite With a Support Group[/custom_headline]
(If you’re a man, make it a men’s group, If you’re a woman, make it a woman’s group.  In fact it can just be a ‘group’.)
4-communityExpression, Authenticity, Sex, Relationships, Love, Being a Friend and Life in general while trying to be you is fucking hard.  It is not easy to do.
Find a group you can meet with regularly (in person is best) and be honest with.  People and connection are always in the solution in every equation to happiness.  Find people that won’t judge, will be open and be honest with you.   TSL has a massive international men’s group that talks and connects nearly everyday of the week for 15-20 hours a week.  We are online based, but we have found that to work well for us.  Despite all of our workshops, social dynamics and so on it is our groups that are ultimately valued most by our members.
I also have local groups that I meet with, just to connect with and share openly with others about my life.
One thing that is guaranteed is that if you are a man or a woman and you are looking to connect with anyone in any way you will come to a point that doesn’t make any sense.   You will hit a point where you get rejected, fall in love or just have something that you really expected from someone who means a lot to you and it won’t work out as planned.  When that happens you don’t know what to do.  It is easy to react and do something stupid that you’ll later have to be responsible for.   I can guarantee you this, no matter how bizarre and unusual you think it is, if you bring it to TSL’s group, I can almost guarantee you someone there has experienced it and found a solution to make it work in their life.

[custom_headline type=”left, center, right” level=”h2″ looks_like=”h3″ accent=”true”] 4 – Explore Yourself & Love Yourself  [/custom_headline]If you are unwilling to look within you, you will never be able to share you.  And believe me if you have any bill murphysecrets and you do start to connect with someone, they’ll find their way out.  Probably not in a literal way…you’ll still have your secret, but instead you’ll have a massive dysfunction, or a whole set of them, to keep that buried.   Self-exploration is where we always start.  you can take an inventory, you can meditate it doesn’t matter.  Just be consistent with it.  I can’t tell you how many people I know who do some retreat like a workshop, a Vipassaña 10 day mediation or do ayahuasca once, twice or a few times and talk about it like it is the most amazing thing but remain lost confused and fucked up.  Make your self-exploration consistent. Don’t think of it like an event or right of passage. Make it a simple easy to follow way of life.

When you explore yourself, it might be kinda hard at first, but it is a necessary step in the whole process to love yourself.  Loving yourself is the ultimate goal for TSL, and really should be for any living human being.  If you love yourself, everything is better.  How you talk to people, how you make love and generally how you live life.  It ain’t easy, and I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you that I have to work at it very hard and I can easily forget about it what I need to do for that.  To put it in short, I meditate, I write, I give and I try and be grateful everyday.  That doesn’t make my life great, but it makes me sure of who I am and that my expression, choice and connection to the world around me is what I was born to be.

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Be Social 
Be Sexual
Live Life

Steve Mayeda


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