There 2 Missing Pieces in Success with Women –
It seems like most people in Pick Up talk about getting laid through a System or they talk about getting laid through being Authentic.
It is always either or…
the sad part is that nobody can mix the 2.
I find this really weird, considering that you would expect all those guys that learn from a System would actually get good with women and turn it into a lifestyle and thus be Authentic.
On the other side, the guys teaching you to be Authentic can never give you specific advice on what to do exactly.
One of the core things that I have always taught was how to be yourself while using a process. This has been apart of everything that I have ever taught – the best example is theREDstack. People always tell me I am selling routines and I try and tell them that theREDstack is not a list of routines, but it is your life put into my models of Qualification, Teasing and Emotionally engaging someone so that you will be able to meet the people that you want.
On another side note it is funny cause recently I started giving out references (emails of past clients who have theREDstack) to guys who have been inquiring about it and I forget how unique the product is.
So how does one be Authentic and also Learn in a Structured or Consistent way?
I think you need to ask yourself 2 Questions.
You need to ask –
1 – What are the best parts about me?
(these would be things like, what you would be proud to show people. Things that you would see as your best part of yourself.)
2 – What do I want in a Woman?
(this would mean – what do you desire and value from a woman. Every woman you meet might be attractive, however, what would make you more attracted to her than just her looks)
For myself the answer to the first question (what are the best parts about me) would be – I love people. I almost see socializing as a religion. In fact I really value having the right people in my life and cultivating the best relationships.
The answer to the second question (what do I want in a woman?) is easy. When I first meet a girl and I am physically attracted to her I want to know if she is sexually confident and if she is someone that is open minded.
Those are pretty basic. Now if you want ask yourself those same questions.
Since I am well aware of those 2 questions I can take my Structures of Opening, Qualification, Teasing – in General – Showing myself – and make it Authentic.
Why nobody is able to mix the 2 I don’t know.
So for instance if I want to use a structure for Opening based on my answers to those 2 questions it is easy. I want to ask to do this –
– Ask a Question that is based on what I want in that woman –
– Tease based on her reaction
-Then implement a Qualification Pattern
(for instance I can do a pattern I call the Cycle – Qualify, then Ground, then Qualify then Ground the Qualify)
How the Cycle works is easy – You mix Qualifiers (questions I am interested in) with grounding (Stories based on myself or experiences) to get deeper and deeper towards the things I want to show about myself and the things I want to know about women.
This takes some creativity, but I feel that you are better off trying it than not.
Also you might be thinking – should I wait for her to answer the Questions?
Well you don’t need to, at first I would just say these things and if a girl engages in the conversation that is when you should lay off a little. Allow her to voice herself and when she stops talking pick it back up.
If you can get through a few Cycles you will be pretty deep pretty fast.
Here is an example –
I like Open-mindedness when it comes to sex. So I could open and say –
“This might seem like a weird question but what do you think about how closed off our culture is?”
She will probably be confused be this so I will tease her a little to build some compliance –
“I didn’t mean to scare you, I can already tell that you can intimidate the right people, but that just means you’re an open-minded person.”
Then you move on to the Qualifiers –
“For instance, let me ask you this…what do you think makes people the most nervous…”
Then you do your first Ground – just 2 sentences and it should last about 10 seconds only. The point of the Ground is so that your Qualifier is not just some random question, it has something to do with you.
“Cause with me I actually think one of the most attractive qualities about people is how open-minded people are. I have always found that the most interesting parts to someone are not on the surface.”
Now I am going to continue the Cycle and Qualify again but get more intense –
“So let me ask you, what would you say is really unique about you?”
She may or may not answer and I am going to ground again to define what this means to me.
“I think people I have always been someone that pushes the envelop, for instance I have always been really creative, but sometimes it can offend people, especially people that don’t know me.”
And I am going to continue to Cycle and get deeper towards sexuality here.
“I can tell you’re confident – but if I were to ask you about your sexuality would you get nervous?”
Now I will ground again –
“I know for myself I have always been more comfortable with blurting out perverted things more than just being honest about things in my life. I think that I really like it when I can feel comfortable with someone.”
Now I am going to stop there, but in an initial interaction the quickest I can to a Qualification Pattern like this then the sooner I will be able to Show the sides of myself that I really like and also bring out the parts of a woman that I really like.
Be creative and try it.
For all the readers of my blog – if you want to talk with me personally about this we are surveying my entire email list.
Please GET ON THE LIST to have the opportunity to talk with me more, and so I can talk to you!