[xyz_dbx_default_code]
What is the end goal for you in the Seduction Industry?
I will start this off by saying, I love my job. I think being good with women is a necessary tool for men to have. I also think being a good man is the best way to ‘get good with women’. The PUA industry was my first main step in this process and it changed my life, ultimately for the best. However there is a problem…a lot of them.
The Problem –
The industry is marketed to you in all ranges (All the way from being a good guy with some charm to learning the secret tricks to force women to worship you and obey your sexual commands), yet most of it produces men who don’t get better with women or even become happy. The industry can market so hard it exploits sex, seduction, men and their pocket books. Most men exit the industry frustrated after investing time, money and belief in something that makes them less confident, more confused and worse with women and uncomfortable with sex.
The Need – Every Man & Woman Needs Sex
We all need sex, why not be good at it and even good at getting it? There are many reasons why we should be learning how to get better with women.
- Sex is good,
- Sexual adventure
- Pleasing a woman
- Getting into a relationship
Everyman should know what it is like to have a fulfilling time in his life with women, and have a resource to find that. This should be the Seduction/PUA/Dating Industry – The Industry falls short of this, in my opinion.
I think that resource should be for –
- Men who are successful in their lives already and want to get better with women
- Men who have no social skills get better social skills
- Men who have no experience with women learn to get better with women
- Men who want to build a fulfilling lifestyle
The Search for Answers –
There is a great need for an outlet to help men become better men and be good with women. This can mean getting better with women, sex and life. In fact I personally believe it is impossible to get better with women without getting better with life. I want to know what you think the right answer is for all this.
The Inspiration for this post –
This weekend I was out teaching in Austin with one of my 1-on-1 clients. We came across a PUA workshop from a major company. This company my client had hired and invested over $10,000 in. Of that he said they made him worse and have a poor perspective on himself and woman. He talked to the assistant instructor for a bit and we went on their way. I felt bad for the clients that had paid this company, they consistently get poor feedback from whoever I hear who has hired them. So I posted this comment on facebook –
“There is no problem with men wanting to meet women and have better sex lives, but when I run into a PUA workshop in downtown Austin I feel sad and embarrassed that one of the forces of human nature has turned into such a joke…that costs a lot of money”
This erupted into massive dispute on facebook that turned into some slamming article on me as well as a few threads on facebook that are hundreds of comments long.
I personally thought the whole thing was funny. The personalities that come out of PUA threads can be hilarious; however in reading the comments you see that –
- There is a problem with the industry’s general message
- A desire for more than the old PUA standard of ‘skills to get women’
- People want to be happy and live a good life rather than just be good with women
I have been involved in the PUA community since 2005 and started teaching in 2007. I have done everything the PUA community would consider to be good with women and taught many men the same, but none of it made myself or my clients happy. However I have found happiness in women and life outside of that ‘Industry definition’. Despite many adversities I have found a great deal of freedom in life, sex, seduction and everything else life can be.
Fortunately there are some good guys out there (and have been around the longest as well) – Hypnotica, Zan, Johnny Soporno and a few others, but no one else seems to produce a group of men that actually are functional in life let alone good with women. In my entire teaching career this has been my only goal and the only result I consider success – A man is good with women, comfortable with sex and lives a good life.
What I Need From You –
I want to know what this industry should be? Write me a comment with what you think needs to happen. What do you want to learn from the Seduction/PUA/Dating Industry? Here are a few starter ideas…but give me your 2 cents!
Goal 1 – Be a Better Man –
The best way to get a ‘10’ in your life is to live as a ‘10’. Don’t fake it! Have the best life, lifestyle that is a complete expression of yourself. This means that it isn’t just your skill set to meet women is a set of techniques, it means that skill set is your entire life. You’re a total man and as a result you’re successful in many venues including women.
Goal 2 – Get Laid –
This simply means learn how to get laid more, have more sex, and be better at meeting women. This seems to be the main message of the PUA industry, and there is nothing wrong with the message at all if they did it right. Many men have no problem in their life. They are already successful and want to learn from a professional seducer some extra tips on getting better with women. There also might be men with no experience with women who just can only think about getting laid. I firmly believe that it is a good thing for all men to have a part of their life be a sexual adventure.
Goal 3 – Build a Lifestyle –
Some men want to be better with women as a refection to build a good lifestyle. Many men what to know what it is like to live a life that has all the ‘cool stuff’. Hangout with the best women, be respected in all environments and go to the best parties. This can also simply mean that men might want to just do what they like. For instance, work from home, go and exercise when I want, and hangout at cafes with good friends.
Those are just a few examples. As much as I love spending time looking at what is wrong with the Seduction industry, I want to know what can truly be offered to you living the best life…
Leave a Comment – Give Me Your Answers!
- What do you want from this Industry?
- What information is helpful?
- What type of product or service would you like?
I want to find my best friend, marry her and have children and spend our lives together. I feel like that is something I shouldn’t say as a guy but it’s what I’ve always wanted, What you have taught me is that to get to know someone else, you really got to know yourself first, and damn that is hard – and something I think that turns a lot of guys away. Much of the PUA community turns me off as their goals are not aligned with mine. Sure, scoring is fun, but after a while, that’s not what I’m in it for, and I think that is all some people want. And that’s okay for them, it’s just not for me.
I love reading what you write, Steve.
I think the messed up thing with it is that it is not hard, it is just hard to let go of all the crap we hold on to. Learning a skill set without us is what will make life hard. In any case man, let’s hang soon
The thing I want from this industry is that I want people to teach what really is the core truth of women which is the divine feminine goddess that is her essence in a woman – Light hearted, care free, flirtatious, caring. I want the world to know what also fuels the masculine man- battle to fight, maiden to rescue and an adventure to live. I really want all this B.S. Pick up joke to be demolished and thrown away because it does not serve me, The most helpful information is just being authentic, being real being your true self being a whole and complete human being who just loves life and building a ideal awesome lifestyle filled with intresting things there is more to life than just pulling chicks from clubs and does not go out of his way to get women by just trying and putting this fakeness with all these open and closing lines and all that shit already puts the pussy on the pedalstal. Love has no agendas only fear does – by doing all those pick up routienss it all comes down to having an agenda and wanting something from woman! does a whole and complete person want something? no he has the emtyness filled within him already. Go and live your lifes pourpose! and women will flow effortlessly into your life! go rock out! aim high! 😀
Hahahah, man, easier siad than done! But that is what I basically strive for everyday. You’re always so positive man. It is good to read your posts. I know my goal is to live my life happy and as a result to that have a life filled with the experiences I like
Industry should teach how to love people. It is the hardest. Connect with humans. It should teach that we are all the same.
The biggest fear i know is the fear of others. We should stop thinking like there is some special people out there. I myself try to show what i feel, how i feel. Most of my life i failed at it.
I wanna have sex with someone who knows ME and wants the same as bad as i do. I want to enjoy my life and let people around me enjoy theirs.
Just having fun in everyday activities like waking up or saying hi to a fat neighbor….and thanks Steve)
I totally get how the community sells sex…it makes sense, but what I don’t get is how much of the community doesn’t sell anything other than sex. I mean if these guys were really getting laid they would come to some conclusions that they would realize sex with the real them for being them was much more enjoyable than sex with something that wasn’t them. This means they are either not having sex, or they are having sex with only a life that is not theirs. That kinda sucks….
I mean how many instructors are there? And no one talks about this…fuckers
Thanks for the post buddy
I’m interested in learning all of the elements of being good in relationships with women and also living a full life.
From most of the programs and information I have seen a lot of coaches and programs are built on gimmicks and pick up lines.That program or pattern seems to be very short sided and doesn’t add any growth to the someone trying to live a whole life…
I don’t think anyone really wants to teach, they want to make money. I wish it was different. Maybe it is my curse but I’d rather teach than make money. Unfortunately this leaves me poor too many times. But I do agree with you man, and thanks with your insight
Just teach honesty, seem like what you’ve been teaching forever, no mind games or manipulation needed. Honesty, plain and simple. People seem like they try so hard now a days, you teach them how to relax and be honest, a whole new area of life reveals itself… I always got further in life by coloring outside the lines than i ever did staying in them 😀
Sith
I do think honesty is great stuff but how doors one create or find a venue for honesty? It seems everyone including myself expects others to guard their honesty and in turn doubts others are genuine. How can I empower women and myself to be honest. Also, how do I smash the idea of a perfect fairytale relationship that’s in my head and in the head of women I meet?
Josh, I am glad you wrote this…mainly because I hear ideals form everyone…which we need. However there still needs to be a community where men can be men. Talk about sex the way we want to talk about it, talk about relationships the way we want to . The problem is there is no outlet for that and then there is the PUA outlet which is all fucked up. Sex and relationships are good…even if I’m kinda crazy about them all.
I feel that the industry should have long moved towards coaching.
Most companies agree that it takes longer than a few months to get what you want, and certainly longer than a weekend. You don’t hire a personal trainer fora single session or bootcamp.
Even the army bootcamps are longer than one weekend!
Almost everyone who got ‘good’ did so either because they are the minority with amazing willpower or they hung out with a guy who taught them.
As there is clearly more money in coaching someone for 3 months or more, I’m genuinely surprised that there isn’t such a move, and finding such a coach is difficult.
I want to live the lifestyle that I never had. I never was popular in high school and never was confident. Growing up has been a humble experience in my life but my life is still missing somthing. I want to be my best self and I feel I can only do this by pushing my comfort zone. This community gives me the opportunity to do that exactly. I look at it as a challenge. Somthing that can only better me. I hope one day to be able to attend a boot camp and take those first steps toward a new improved quality of life.
The “Community” sells products, not sex.
Desperate human beeings, looking for help get exploited by businessmen who sell them tricks to paint over their personality. These companys create their own reality, their own language and resell stuff that was basically already available for free at fastseduction. And of course, one seminar ist not enough, you need to buy more seminars more audio courses, more pdf´s for rediculously high prices.
Companys create a clear hierachy, like cadre-organisations the lower “ranks” have to obey to everything the “Instructors” say, their ideas are always “genious”, “groundbreaking” and without any reasonable doubt the absolute “truth”. But there is also one fundamental difference to cadre-organisations. They elect their supervisors. Of course, own ideas or ideas from other companys don´t get discussed. Critique is only for the choosen few, any view which contradicts beliefs of a company are not only „heresy“ it is a clear evidence, that the person did´nt get anything. The ones who dare to think for themselves are „chodes“, „nice guys“ or hopeless and should adjust their attitude by buying a seminar, an audio course or a pdf for (you guessed it) a rediculous price. The neoliberal businessmodel, the protection from critique, the „ponzi-scheme“ like mode of operation, the power structures, and the practice of not using science to „prove“ it´s theorys but esoteric mumbo jumbo (like Eckhart Tolle or NLP) show clear similaritys to esoteric/religious cults.
I fell for it, a lot of guys did. I learned a lot of things but I regret a lot of things too (especially the money I lost) 😉
The basic message of the community could be: „It´s possible to change the way you want to be.“
But the secret is no lines, no seminars, no audio courses it´s the understanding that your desires are not created by yourself, they are constructed by „the big Other“ speaking in Lacanian terms.
Steve´s approach towards teaching is different, he does classic empowerment. Helping people to show their unique personality in an attractive way. This is the biggest secret. No more, no less.
Always great words of wisdom man, I hope you write an article for me someday. I wrote a pretty intense article man. Need to edit it down, but I think you will like it. I am going to start focusing on health, and mentality more with this business. Talk soon my man
This is so right on.
MICHAEL!!! Where you been man?!?!
* What do you want from this Industry?
I want to learn how to get girls in to bed quickly, being as close to self as I can be (this is mostly on my part to use what I learn effectively), the minimal effort for the maximum results. Most of the other stuff lifestyle and everything else is cool, but that’s something I gotta do for me and what if I want solidarity does that make me a bad person?
* What information is helpful?
The truth is what works, speak the truth, does it work, again I do a cycle that hits mostly picked from a book.
* What type of product or service would you like?
One that can get consistent results, where it is tailored for my own personality wants needs and faults, and room to grow.
I am going to tell you right now, there are 3 things that will dramatically help you with your goal of getting sex fast –
1) Know yourself and express yourself. Living the Sexual Life (the only lifestyle I promote) you are to work a path of ‘self-expression, self-exploration, self-acceptance and then self love. The only reason why a woman should be attracted to you in being a sexual is if ‘you’re’ the sexual man. All your ‘attraction’ material, ‘rapport’ and escalation is based off of you. Not off of a technique.
2) The Love for Being Social and Being Sexual. If you simply want to take from being social or sexual you will get limited results and you will only find unhappiness. Your results will be unfulfilling. What you want it to social and sexual because you like the exchange with people and not the taking, control and manipulation. Sex has no meaning if we just want to have it without us or the other parties invested. It is like guys get so sexually frustrated with their lives and they want to get laid and they think that is going to make them happy. When in reality, as they hopefully will soon discover, that the sex they long for has an emotional, psychological and physical combination. You have to want to be sexual and share with someone, or it has no meaning.
3) Have pride in you – You have to be willing to put yourself out there. If you want to have pride in a technique go work with someone teaching techniques. I teach techniques that are only based on you. You need to want to be yourself.
Live the Sexual Life
Be You
Be Social
Be Sexual
Stop Being Angry
Stop Being Frustrated
Stop Being someone who blames
Take responsibility and live the life you were meant to live