So it has been a few weeks since I posted the last entry
“What’s wrong with the PUA Community”
MunichHawk sent this to me a while ago, about a month before I posted it.
Him sending it to me made me think a lot about things going on in how I teach and how I perceive things within the community. Many of those things on his shitlist apply directly to me as well.
It made me realize how much we can lose sight of things when we get caught up in them.
Instead of seeing us getting better with ourselves, our confidence, our dominance and sexuality we focus on a specific style of gaining attention from women. We lose sight of how awesome we can make the PUA Community.
The impressions we impose on people move through society and eventually come full circle.
To quote the mighty mighty Gone Savage – “Women don’t know how to have good sex, cause men don’t know how to have good sex, and vise versa”
When you come out with such thoughts you need to be careful with them. The PUA community has a lot of things wrong with it and people make complete businesses based off of that. You can have someone based off pointing out your problems, selling you on your fears, or you can have them based on solution and moving you towards change.
I don’t want to focus on those negative things anymore than I have to. I want to acknowledge those problems and present a solution. It becomes pointless to dwell on those obvious issues.
This being said, tonight and all this week I am going to be sending to my list some content rich routines that will show you how to take this approach to defining yourself immediately to a woman. In fact the first email will have to do with Opening based on yourself so that you can immediately gain some ground on Rapport.
Nobody else can show you this…I don’t know why…makes me wonder about the other people teaching this stuff.
So when MunichHawk emailed me his ‘Shitlist’ I told him I wanted to do a Video series on it, and asked him if I could use his name. He has done some Approach Coaching with some companies in the PUA mass market and he has also been asked to represent himself more within the European Market from those companies.
He told me that is was alright to use his name as long as I voiced it that he really loved the PUA community rather than only focusing on the ‘Shitlist’ only.
I wanted to elaborate on this a bit more because the importance of all these things is vital to whatever reason you might be reading this blog article.
You might be reading it to meet more women…
You might be reading it to learn the best ways to approach women…
You might be reading it to learn about how to be a better man…
You might be reading it to learn some new techniques…
But the fact is that every point of change that you have – whether you are deep in that point of change revamping your whole life – or you are fixing a few things here and there – that point of change needs to be cultivated and taken seriously.
A man changes with intent. A man changes with strength and deliberation.
If that change is to move the world, or it is to stop and see if something is stuck on the bottom of your shoe, that change is deliberate. That change is not motivated by a fear.
We see all too often these motivators being used in the PUA community.
“Open that set or you’re gonna stay a pussy the rest of your life.”
“Fashion tip number one…you need to unfuck that”
“say these routines, cause what you’re saying doesn’t work”
“manifest this identity I say is good cause what you are and how you show yourself sucks…”
The voicing is that if you don’t Conform to them you are going to be stuck in that state of misery where you will be womanless.
So what are you conforming to? What is it that you are conforming to in order to live without that fear of being alone?
The reason why I used MunichHawk’s ‘Shitlist’ is cause he is someone who lives for truth, merit, dignity and deliberation. We all came into this community willing to change. We all have been exploited by it. But those of us around for a while have gained some wisdom to realize the differences between what works and what is bullshit.
When you live your life the choices that you make, big or small need to have merit. That is how you live a life of dignity and merit.
That is how purpose is found. Live the life you drive yourself to live, and live the life you are given by the world around you.
The reason why this community is able to have such a following of man behind it is cause it has to do with Empowerment.
How to get what is a fundamental draw of masculinity. It has to do with being able to not be afraid and is has to do with being a man. If you are a man in the best ways that you can be and you use some principals of attraction you will get the women you want in you life.
The problem is that when you realize how powerful and great these attributes of being a man can be and you see what everyone else is teaching out there you can easily get frustrated.
It is when you have ideals and live your life with purpose and you put your faith, hard work into someone or something that says it is going to deliver and you realize it was just a sales pitch you get pissed off.
That is where I am coming from and that is where I believe MunichHawk was coming form when writing this.
To illustrate this a bit better I want to tell a short story of MunichHawk.
Sometimes that is the best way to voice this –
I knew MunichHawk from the message boards that had to do with Pick Up. He was always pretty active on them and he was also helpful. I am not sure you have spent much time on the many forums and message boards out there, but it is rare that you actually have someone be helpful on them.
He wanted to learn and give back. Even though it is called ‘the community’ it is rare that people don’t give back. Most people just take and take.
At some point over a year ago MunichHawk hired me for theREDstack. When I got his profile I was amazed at what I read. First off he had a great deal of depth to his beliefs. They were beliefs that I can relate with in many ways.
However what was more amazing to me was his life he led.
MunichHawk had integrity. It wasn’t to look good it wasn’t to maintain some bullshit DHV story to get women to like him, he had a life that he lived because it was the right thing to do.
Like many of us in the community, he didn’t have a strong father figure. He also is the oldest of 2 brothers, and he studies and goes to school at the same times of providing for them as much as possible. He has a lot of responsibility because for the past few years he has had an mother that has been ill. He did what a man does when he should have been enjoying his youth, he took on the responsibility to take care of his brothers and take care of his mother. He still does this and never talks about it in the community.
When people hire me for theREDstack I am amazed when people tell me their stories cause I look at their stories and I am blown away at them. I mean you’re talking about a guy in his 20s who is doing the most responsible and masculine thing by the definition, and he is asking you for advice.
That is what this community should be building, a network of men being better men. Instead of a bunch of 2 year old boys trying to play dress up into their manhood.
But what is the most fucked up thing is that we actually put our respect into people that would say it doesn’t add VALUE or WOMEN won’t be ATTRACTED to someone who takes care of their family.
They say –
“bring up some story about your IDENTITY, that is similar to their empty life. Say you’re a rock star, and actor, a magician…dress up like some sort of Metro-Sexual-Effeminate Male cause that is what women like.”
Learn to be a bitch – change your whole life so that you can meet a girl and have her like you.
Well what the fuck is a man supposed to be? Is a man supposed to be someone who has changed their whole life so that they can attract the height of superficiality? To me that is the opposite of what ‘Alpha’ is.
When you orchestrate your life to be something you’re not and you do all this stuff to fit into a society that built all the bright lights and bullshit you will turn a genuine person into that.
That means the friends you make, the women you build relationships with or just have sex with will have no meaning. You will have a life without purpose.
“Cut your balls off like us, so that you can be like us and hang out in a club and masquerade as a cool person…cause let me tell you, if you don’t you’re gonna be that pussy that doesn’t get chicks like us”
Or you will be a guy like MunichHawk who is a common guy, doing the right thing. Doing a simple thing, but doing it with merit and purpose, living in duty, being a man in ways that might not be perfect, but living it. To me that is a Hero. That is my favorite thing about doing theREDstack for people is because it is actually showing guys who have lived a normal life, one that they are told by many people that is not popular to bring up because it is not attractive, and showing them how to make it attractive.
I still remember reading MunichHawks profile and thinking, ‘Jesus, I wish I had as much substance as this guy. I mean he is my hero’
Since then, I have met up with him and partied pretty hardcore with him, and had one of the most fun nights of my life in Germany.
I have also talked with him from time to time over Skype. He’s a friend, but he lives across a great ocean. We don’t talk too much, but it is friends like that, that can move you the most.
The last time I talked with MunichHawk on Skype I asked him about what he thought about the community.
He went off, and it put me in check. I asked him to write about it more.
He wore me the list he made.
I read it with a few people and we were all amazed at how well it summed everything up. I waited on posting it cause I wanted to post it in the right way. Didn’t want to come off sounding like I hated the PUA Community. There are problems with it.
So let’s change them.
Let’s be part of the solution rather than the problem. The problem is somewhat defined and it will probably be defined some more.
Often times I get angry when I focus on those problems, but that anger does nothing, it works as an obstacle of the solution. The solution does not lie in that definition of the negative. That definition is there only cause it needs to be looked at. It needs to be seen as something that we have all so willingly subjugated ourselves to.
I have a life rich in women. In my PUA Career I have fuck that up from the floor up many times.
Getting good with women is easy. I can show you that pretty quickly. But YOU being good with women, YOU getting women and being yourself, living the life YOU want to live and having no limits, well that is hard.
Slowly but surly that has been my experience in the community. That is what I have done.
And when I think of either of those goals (Getting Women, and a LifeStyle that Maintains that) I can’t think of many people instructing out there that could show you either.
A few might be able to show you how to get women and even less who could help with the Lifestyle thing.
What I do know is a mass of students that I have had that were already MEN, were already people who had tasted the fire, had walked a road that defined them and wanted some pointers. What a man knows how to do is lead, and sadly all the people teaching this stuff hadn’t the slightest idea of how to lead anyone.
The Student teacher dynamic in the PUA community has become a bunch of Men asking Scared Little Boys for advice.
All a man needs for change is the desire, a road map and sometimes a little bit of consultation with an expert.
What the community has been showing you is how to be a bitch, an empty soul, a follower, and how to live in your fear.
We need to empower yourself and facing what is in front of you. Cause when you cover it with bullshit and see what you get…
And what have you got?
Read on…join the journey with me. Get on my list, and let’s turn this thing Upside Down!